The Fight is Ever Tougher

Well, dear reader, I have returned. What has caused my return? I have found something worth writing about.....

URBANA '09

Some of you reading this knew I made the last minute decision to come. Many of you helped me to actually get here. What follows are my thoughts after day one....


....this world is jacked. Seriously. Evil has a stronghold in this world, and it is employing devious and deadly tricks to grasp desperately at its power. And when one looks at it as a whole, one can get discouraged. One can begin to believe the lie that there is too much to be done, that this Hydra cannot be killed. That as soon as you cut one head off, stop one brothel, shut down one sweat shop, three more will rise up.

One can look at the growing darkness and begin to become afraid of what is out there.

Today, I sat and spoke with an awesome woman who has been serving the cause for child justice in Cambodia. Her organization had been centered in the main cities there, but had found that they were in competition for the kids with other aid and justice organizations. They decided that they would leave the cities and head into the rural villages. They thought they would walk in, tell these villagers that they were there to love them in the name of Christ, and that they would be accepted.

This is when they discovered that Satan had a new ploy, one so devious it made them weep tears of frustration (and nearly me as she told me). What they discovered was that the slave traders had beat them to the towns. And what they had done there was deplorable. They walked in, set up a "mission" and stated they were missionaries. They stated they were there in the name of Christ, and that they were there to teach the children. They then had the kids come in for Sunday school. They earned the family's trust. They then took the kids on a retreat....where they abused them, sold them into slavery, and used them up.

Villagers were being warned to not trust Christians, that Christians would steal their children. That Christians would destroy their children.

And rage built in me. And I could feel Christ's rage. His name, His church, His reputation has been tarnished so that evil can better succeed in its destruction.

The woman I spoke with explained that her initial reaction was that she was crushed. That she felt absolutely defeated. That she felt that this was a blow that she did not know how to overcome.

But she kept working at it, The only answer was to keep loving. To love stronger, harder, better. To commit to staying in each community until the real love of Christ showed through. Her answer was to strap in, put on her big-girl pants, and get down and dirty in the fight against evil. Evil wanted to present itself as Christ, and tarnish the name while doing it. She fought back by letting the truth of who Christ is shine through.

What a humbling moment. She looked at me and said, "You cannot give up. People with our hearts cannot give up. These children need to be heard." She had been faced with the devil's terrifyingly brilliant scheme, and she chose to follow through. The road was longer, harder, and much more dangerous than she had expected. The earning of trust, the attaining of the goal, the saving of the children, was not immediate, was not obtained in a month, or two months. It took considerable time and effort.

And that is what I am learning thus far. I have always known that following God can be hard. I have known that to follow the Lord requires a commitment of high and demanding standards. but what I am seeing at this Urbana thus far is that evil is trying to outwit, out do, out think the kingdom of God. I have no doubt that God will win. I have no doubt that the evil in this world will be brought to justice. I don't even doubt that some of that justice can be accomplished by men and women on this earth. But it will be a hard go. The commitment level is unbelievably demanding. Jesus told me it would be this way. He is not surprised that evil is getting smarter, that it is masking itself in a prettier package so that more will be sucked in. He is not surprised, and he is not scared, but he knows what it means. He knows that in order to see justice done, all other desires must be abandoned. He warned me I would not have a hole to live in. he warned me I would not have a family. He warned me I would not find my joy here, and that death to myself would be the price.

But he made in me a heart that yearns for His justice, and therefore, He has given me His family. Within that, thankfully, I have my own blood family, for they support my heart, and encourage my passions. But He has also given me an extended family in Him. He has provided those who have gone before, those who can encourage and call out. Those who can tell me that it has been difficult, but also that it has been worth it.

That is Urbana folks. Darkness is identified. Darkness is recognized. Darkness is given the degree of seriousness it demands. BUT, those who have gone before stand proudly and say they have looked into the eyes, the heart, the terrifying mass of darkness, and they have seen that there is one thing it cannot overcome. It can overcome man. It can overcome theological debates. It can overcome missionaries intending good. But it cannot overcome The Light. The Light which came into the world, which headed straight for the darkness, but the darkness could not overcome it.

And when the darkening world begins to look a bit to powerful, too terrifying, too grand. When my strength gives out, and it is easier to stay in my job and live my simple life than struggle against the darkness. When I want to run and hide and pretend that darkness cannot catch me, has not begun to creep into my bones, my mind, my heart. When all this is true, the Light rushes out, screaming at the darkness, terrifying IT with the strength of the one true God. And I am reminded that my puny strength is not what will hold back the darkness. That was taken care of on a cross many years ago.

I am not called to fight of my own strength, but to fight with the Light of the World. And to be in it for the long hall. Evil has some fancy moves, but my team has the stamina to stay in the game and wear evil out. They can use every trick play in the book, my team will run them down with solid play and truth at the forefront.

So far what I hear Urbana saying to me is, don't watch the world and shake your head. Don't wait for the easy time to plunge in.Don't fear the growing darkness, for it already fears the name you carry.

So, here I go, to spend my week looking into what that means.

Summer Gone By

Well, the summer is finished. Not the actual summer. Just mine. My summer employment with YouthWorks! Inc. has finished. I left West Virginia on Sunday, was in Philedelphia by Sunday night, Angola, Indiana on Tuesday night, St. Louis, Missouri on Thursday night, and back in my house in ole OP on Friday....what a trip.

God and I got along grand this summer. He taught me a great deal about leading people, about what real passion for serving in His kingdom is, and about how I am best motivated and able to serve.

He also taught me that my passion for Him must be a constant yearning. That I cannot sustain myself on a summer long sojourn into God's kingdom and then coast for 9 months waiting for Jesus Lightning to strike. Jesus Lightning is, for those unfamiliar, the brilliant flash of passion and motivation to love and serve the world that comes from nowhere unbidden. I won't say it doesn't exist, just that it is not something to sit around and wait for.

It is funny how I can spend an entire summer in West Virginia, have so many stories, memories, and fantastic moments that Haley and I can talk for 9 hours straight from Philly to Angola, and yet when I sit down here, it all seems to blur together.

So I guess you are going to have to ask me for specific details, because this broadstroke writing is not going to happen. I am discovering how much I hate sitting here at this thing.

So I will close out with this:

I STILL NEED A JOB!

So come Monday, you will find me beating the asphalt down as I try to find someone who wants to hire this spectacular employee to be. Those of you looking to hire....you had better call quick!

I will let you, dear reader, know how it goes.

At the End

So last week was Lincoln County's last week of programming. I know, I have failed you, dear reader. I have not updated. I have not posted pictures. I have not shared the many deep thoughts and movements of heart that God has been giving me.

I am tired. That is all the excuse I have. Shameful, I know. But when I come to the end of the day, or a brief break, forgive me beloved, but in front of a computing machine is not where I want to be. So perhaps when I get home I will write about my amazing staff, how God used each of them to change Lincoln County, youths' lives, and me. How I am going to miss them a great deal, and how they have touched my world. Perhaps I will write about the youth groups I saw, about those that were fired up for Christ, and serving His people. Or those with a lack of passion for a life radically changed by God, the "thrill seeking" churches as I have decided to call them. Perhaps I will write about a new project that I think is growing on my heart, a way to meet and love the people of our fair land. Perhaps I will write about West Virginia, her beauty, her anger, her need.

I will certainly write about the funny experiences. I will most definitely write about God and all that He did. I will write, I promise, life upon my return home.

But for now my mind is worn down. I have no more deep thoughts in me.

So I ask, instead, for prayer. I have $900 in my checking account. By the weekend, that will be down to $300. By next Wednesday....maybe $100.....

I need a job. I need to decide if I move again. I need to decide if I can stay in Kansas City and try to find work, or if I should look in other states where a chance of work is offered. I felt like God led me to YouthWorks....but I have no idea what the next step should be. And I am getting a little nervous.

So pray for me, my friends. And if anyone is looking to hire an excellent History degree holding ex-Habitat homebuilder/Maintenance man/Site Director....let me know:)

My Life in Pictures

I am too tired to write much, so I thought I would share some pictures from my world. For more, check out facebook AND go to the Lincoln Journal (local paper) website to check out more pictures from my weeks! Just look for the YouthWorks! link!

Prep Week in Philly

My Crew32 Crew

Early Bird in Logan, WV

The view from Logan's site

Square dancing in Delbarton

Charleston

Linds and I share a birthday dinner

Clogging

Michael Midkiff

Where I live

A Note From The Furnace Closet

Good News: I found an internet access

Bad News: It is in a furnace closet, where I must cram myself between a table and a toolbox to plug in.

But here I am.

We have our first week of kids. I remembering why I love YouthWorks. I am remembering how hard YouthWorks can be.

I am learning a great deal as the leader of my small ragtag staff of God-warriors. I will write more about it later...perhaps this weekend.

First, a more pressing issue. You have all (except Kelly and Cassidy- who are amazing) let me down. I made one simple request. 

Pictures.

And I have received......

3

Because my Dad and Momma are also awesome.

The rest of you, dear readers, I shall give you my address again, give you a second chance:

John Creagar

c/o YouthWorks

P.O. Box 612

Hamlin, WV 25523

In all seriousness though, me friends, I am blessed by your prayers. I have needed them the past few weeks, and I thank you for praying for me. Your prayers are worth more than pictures, and I am humbled by those who pray for me. Thank you.

And send pictures:P

Well, I have to cook breakfast in the morning. 120 frozen waffles.

Can't wait.

Clifford Ellis Welcomed Me Home

Well, dear friends, here I sit in Logan, West Virginia, on the eve of Early Bird week. Early Bird is a week when multiple sites come together to run a YouthWorks week as one giant unit. It gives new staffers a chance to see a week in action, and alumni to get their feet wet again. We, the Lincoln County Crew have come to Logan. We will be here until Friday, then head back to Hamlin, West Virginia, where we will do one more week of prep, and then will have youth of our own arrive.

A great deal has occurred in the last few weeks, but I will try to summarize in a brief rundown.

I left my dog, my truck, my family, and my friends behind in Kansas City and Manhattan. no matter how many times I leave a place....and I tend to do that often....it is always a difficult thing to do. I truly enjoy my friends and family, and sometimes my transient life wears me down. Sometimes, just as the plane takes off, I think about how nice it would be if I could just settle in someplace for 3 or 4 years. Maybe put down some roots, meet a girl, start a family, have barbeques and Toasting Tuesdays.....

.....then the plane takes off and I am onto the next adventure, and I see new stories forming to tell old friends, new friends coming at me, new cultures to immerse myself in. And suddenly, I know that this wanderer's life is the only thing I can do....for now.

Back to YouthWorks

My training week was awesome. I got to catch up with old YW friends, to meet my amazing staff, and to remember why it was that I quit my job and abandoned reason to come serve God in West Virginia this summer.

My staff. They are truly wonderful. Each brings gifts to the table that make our site run like a well oiled machine. Each brings a work ethic and desire to serve the Lord that will carry us all through the summer. Each knows how to smile and seek God in both the mundane and the trying times. Each is a blessing to West Virginia, YouthWorks, and myself.

Their names are Haley Church (Program), Mark Cooper (Work Projects), and Lindsay Holmes (Kids Club). If you are praying for me this summer, I would ask that you add them to that time as well. If you want to know more about them, just let me know.

We left Philly, and began our trip to Hamlin. Along the way we saw some beautiful countryside, ate at an excellent Mexican Restaurant, discovered that out F-150 two-tone pickup (named Tony) has no radio, and got to know each other much better.

Upon our arrival in Hamlin, we walked into the Fire Hall in the middle of Bingo Night. Every Thursday and Saturday night the building we stay in, which was a brassiere factory, then a junior high, and now is owned by the Fire Fighters of Hamlin, houses community bingo. It is pretty amazing, and a greta chance to catch up on local goings on.

Anywho, we arrived mid-bingo and mid-rainstorm. There was water in our sleeping rooms. There was dirt. There were bugs. It was a bit overwhelming.

But there was air conditioning. There were mattresses. There were amazing people who told us over and over that they wanted us there, that they were honored to have us, whom they had never met, staying with them. There was God. The love was....a bit overwhelming.

We found a dry, safe place to sleep, and slept through the evening. We awoke, we cleaned, and we began our adventure. We are starting to love our home.

It is always cold. The A/C works very well, and is always on. It is always filled with scanner chatter. As one person put it, we always know who to pray for, because we hear about every accident in Lincoln County. It is often filled with firefighters and EMT's and their families.

The community in Hamlin is extremely loving towards us. They look after us. They have already invited us to dinner (twice), given us gifts (amazing ones), told us they were our mothers, and gone out of their way to give us anything we even mention needing/wanting. We have been invited to every community event available, and have been invited to every church in town- and there are many.

AND

I have reunited with the Elswicks and the Ellis's. I have not had much chance to hang out with either, we have been busy getting the site ready, but they have welcomed me back with open arms. Clifford Ellis told me he and his wife Pinky had been praying hard that I would "come home".

Clifford is the pastor of the Ferrelsburg Church of God. On Wednesday I got to go to his church and take part in a good old fashioned West Virginia prayer service. I snuck in the back while they were watching a video about experiencing God. When they lights came on, Clifford came up to wrap up, and he saw me. Immediately he called me up, and had the entire congregation come up and pray for me. It was humbling, honoring, terrifying, and beautiful. Then I got to sit and just catch up with this amazing man and woman for about an hour.

Now, as I said before, I love everyone I left behind. I miss each of you everyday, trust me I do. But it was a special kind of sweetness to sit in the Ferrelsburg Church of God with an intense man of the Lord and his wife, and just feel a real, Godly, pure love oured out in my direction. As I drove through the scary West Virginia night, I couldn't help but feel like with people like that praying for and watching out for me, the summer could never get too off course.

Well, this update has already been too long. I will close it down. I do want to say that I love you all, and look forward to seeing you at the end of the summer. Or when you send me your pictures. DO IT.

AND stayed tuned, dear reader. Coming soon: John goes clogging.

There may even be pictures.

I Have Arrived

Well, dear readers, I have arrived in Hamlin, West Virginia.

We are busy, and I do not have time to update for real, but this is a shameless ploy for mail.

You see, usually when I head out for a YouthWorks summer, I bring with me a collection of pictures of friends and family so that I will not be too lonely over the summer.

This summer I forgot.

So the call is going out my friends! Send me your pictures! Join me in my adventure!

Make them funny, serious, anything will be awesome! Bainy....I expect sweet pictures from your travels.

And don't just send pictures. I would love to hear about how your summer is going as well. Write to me, and I will write you back. We can be pen pals. It it will rock.

All righty, I am going to go sit at the Post Office and wait.....

John Creagar
C/O YouthWorks!
P.O. Box 612
Hamlin, WV 25523