Wednesday, October 29, 2008

God and Facebook, Who Knew?

I am a chronic loser.

I have lost paychecks. I have lost cds. I have lost the power cord to my laptop.

If I had all of the keys I have lost in my life, I could be that funny little guy from The Matrix.

I have lost my sense of direction, my dignity, even my marbles.

Recently, I lost the ability to process carbs into energy.

Today, I lost my wallet.

And I was crushed. I needed that wallet. I needed the cards of credit inside of that wallet. And, in a few minutes, I will find out if I needed the lottery ticket in that wallet.

I prayed that God would remind where I put it. I prayed that God would lead me to it. I even prayed that God would make it materialize in my pocket.

But it was no where to be found. Thus, I hung my head, and began to call and cancel my important financial plastics. As I waited for my actual credit card to be cancelled, I decided to check my e-mail. Scanning the subject lines, I was trying to decide if I wanted to read my father's latest humor e-mail or a reply from a friend, when something caught my eye. From facebook manager, a message from a man I did not know read, "I think I found your wallet, I can't find a phone #".


My newest facebook friend (I should say he is now my facebook friend, he was not then) had found my wallet in the middle of the road while riding his motorcycle. He stopped, picked it up, and then FOUND ME ON FACEBOOK.

It was amazing. I love the book of face. I do believe that God answered my prayer, and that he did it using a ridiculously cool man and Facebook.

Who knew.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Amazing Grace

Tonight I watched the movie Amazing Grace. If you have not seen it, I recommend you go and watch it immediately. I saw it first in theatres, and I wept at the end. Then I bought it and watched it by myself....and wept at the end. Tonight I watched it again....and wept at the end.

It is beautifully put together, mixing love, God, mission, and calling into a volatile and yet wonderful story.

For those who don't know, it is the story of William Wilberforce and his nearly solitary battle to end slavery in Great Britain. Not that he was alone in his fight. He had many who helped and encouraged him. But he knew that he had been given a gift from God, as well as a mission. And he stayed with that mission until it was completed. For nearly twenty years he had to fight. It literally nearly killed him. But in the end......slavery was finished in Great Britain. It boggles the mind.

The reason I am so passionate about this film is the greatness that is portrayed. Wilberforce fought for something that he knew was greater than mankind or kingdoms. He was quietly accused of sedition. He was thought a fanatic. He was shunned by those in power. And yet, because he knew that God had given him a torch to bear, he persevered. And in the end, he did get to see the end of slavery.

It is interesting to find out though, as I research him more, that his early work only abolished the slave trade. It was not until 1833 (just three days before Wilberforce died, according to that slavery itself was outlawed. The man only saw the gratification of his dreams threes days before going to the Maker that gave him his task. I can only imagine the joy, the ecstasy, the humbling pleasure Wilberforce felt when hearing, "Well done my good and faithful servant."

The movie, and the man, make me yearn for God's direction in my own life. Would that God might find me worthy of a task of such volume. Could I do it? Could I persevere? Could I become so blind to anything else that my need for God's will to be done overcomes my fears and doubts, and I only leap on faith?

I hope so.

Anywho, there is much more I could write about the film, and the man, but I will leave you to watch it. And I encourage you to do so. Feel free to borrow my copy. I will even watch it with you.

Just don't make fun of me when I cry.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Well, Damn

According to The American Diabetes Association, 23.6 million children and adults in the United States have diabetes. That is 7.8% of the population.

On Thursday, I officially joined their ranks.

At first, I was crushed. I had suspected it for a week or so, but to hear the doctor actually say that indeed, I was seriously ill, was tough to take. My family has been fantastic, as have the friends I have told.

But it has been a difficult adjustment in thinking.

It has knocked some of the immortality out of me. I have high blood sugar, but the past few days I have found myself feeling frail. I actually was afraid to bump into something earlier today because I felt like I would hurt myself. It is psychological, I know. But I have seen that I am damageable, and at times....not all day, not even everyday, but at times, it makes me afraid to live. It is ridiculous, and I quickly talk myself out of it.

I have had to immediately change the way I eat and drink. There was no final spaghetti dinner, then tomorrow I cut back. There was no one last bomber at O'Malley's, then I start drinking more water and sugar free. It was Thursday morning I could do it (even though I knew it was probably not the best), Thursday afternoon it was all over.

Good-bye Crazy Bread and Gumby's Pizza Rolls. Good-bye rum and coke. Good-bye Apple Pie with too much ice cream. Good bye Simply Pure orange and apple juice.

Now, in truth, I can have any of that....eventually. But for right now, I am on the wagon. I am counting carbs and watching fat and cholesterol. I am drinking diet root beer and passing on the Jimmy John's Gargantuan.

I have to stick a needle in my belly every night. It is a little freaky. It doesn't hurt, but it takes a certain amount of psychological strength to stab oneself in the stomach and force in fluid. The first night doing it I wanted to call a nurse and make him/her do it. Instead I manned up. But it is weird.

Oddly enough, it is harder for me that I have to prick my finger 4 times a day. The needle feels like medicine. The finger prick just feels like masochism. I hold the "lancer" and try to trick myself into doing it without noticing. Then I force myself to bleed. It is pretty much the worst game ever. But so far I am winning.

There were some "why me" moments. There is a strong desire to wake up tomorrow and discover I dreamed it all. There is a tiny inkling that ignorance was bliss, and why did I go get checked?

But then common sense and reality take back over. I am a diabetic. I must watch what I eat and drink, and I must get my body active. If I lose 125 pounds, I can get off the insulin. That is a motivator. If I eat right, watch my portions, exercise more than my mind and clicker finger, more or less live the way I should have been living the last few years, I can lead a fairly normal life. I may even be able to get off the oral medication.

So this is not a very cheery post, but the few readers I have know me, so I hope you know that I am not beaten or run down by this turn of events. As corny as it sounds, your support, even just through prayer, is hugely appreciated. I can climb this mountain, and indeed, will come over the crest a better man, but it is going to be tough.

Damn you Diabetes.....damn you.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Megan Fox

Today, as I went down the magazine aisle at the grocery store, the GQ cover caught my eye. Why? Because there was Megan Fox, staring at me. She had her tongue out, and it looked like maybe just before the photographer shot the picture, she had been eating an asiago bagel with light cream cheese, and a crumb, mixed with the cream cheese, had stuck to her cheek, and she was trying to remove it.


And that's the cover.

This picture both intrigued and deterred me, and I suddenly realized that I am not a fan of Megan Fox. I do not mean personally, because I don't know her personally. Nor as an actress. I have only seen her in one movie, and I loved the movie, so we shall see. No, I mean as a hottie.

I know, the males reading this just decided that the reason I am still single is not because I am waiting for Jessica Biel to call. Hear me me out.....

When I was in college, I had a friend whose mom made excellent, amazing, out of this world rice crispy treats. This friend would sometimes bring me some after she had visited her home. I always got really excited by them. I would take one from the plate, looking it over for imperfections, finding none. Just the right glaze, right size, right amount of rice crispies. I would bite into it, and savour the beautiful flavor.

Except, I would get two bites in and realize that I was not enjoying this masterpiece creation. I would let the other treats go to people who could enjoy the wonder of them. Because I do not like rice crispy treats. I like rice crispies well enough, but the marshmallow goo I just don't like. BUT, I would never remember this until after I had begun to eat them.

Megan Fox is, to me, like a rice crispy treat. At first look, she is hot. Smokin. I get caught up in that hotness. But then, as I really look at her, I realize that she is a great looking lass, but there is something there that I don't like. Again, not in her personality....I don't know her. No, it is just something in the whole look. I start off loving the hotness, but end with the conclusion that she is not my kind of hotness. Maybe it is the eye sparkle that seems unreal. Or the doll like features. I don't know.

So I am sorry Megan Fox, but I am jumping off the loving band wagon. It took me four years to turn down the rice crispy treats, only two to turn from you. I am making progress.

But Jessica Biel is still on the list. As is Rachael Taylor, the Australian girl from Transformers.

In case either of you want to call.