Monday, December 15, 2008

Irrational Fears

Ranger's recent post about his favorite things started a trend that has reverberated through the known world. I have heard that Obama even decided to list his favorite things. Oddly enough, winning the presidency was 4th, after "eating licorice till I am sick", but before "sneaking a cig when Michelle is not looking"

Anyway, I am feeling a bit too pessimistic about life to list my favorite things....perhaps another day. No, I am forging my own trail. I will now list my irrational fears. Considering the fact that no one participated in my reading list except the amazing Sara, I fear this will be a very short trail. But then, my life has been built on short trails.

Anywho, my fears:

1. Spiders.
Of any size. The fear grows the faster they are. Big, slow ones I can handle. Fast little buggers, I cry like a wee babe. I am not proud of this, but it is who I am.

2. Closed shower curtains.
Maybe this is Alfred Hitchcock's fault. Or more likely Event Horizon. Maybe it is just my own over-active imagination. But I enter many bathrooms for my job, and every time there is a closed shower curtain, I get nervous. I always open them, but there is a moment before I see they are clear that I am filled with sheer terror.

3. Sub-terranian public transportation.
It is not the people. It is not the closed in spaces. I don't know what it is. But I do know this. I will not board one by myself. I think it is because I am afraid that I don't know where I will get off. And what if I get off in the wrong place and can't get back on in time? What if it suddenly transports through time and space, and I am stuck like Scott Bakula in Quantum Leap in alternate dimensions? IT COULD HAPPEN.

4. Spontaneous Combustion
You just laughed. I heard it. But it is real. Documented. And from the time I was about 12 to about 20 I was truly afraid it would happen. The fear has lessened now, but the possibility is always lurking.

5. Dark Water
I once skipped out on swimming with a very beautiful girl because she wanted to swim at night. We could have been married by now. However, we could also have been eaten by terrifying creatures of the deep that only surface at night. My rule is, if you can't see your foot in the water, it might get bitten off. This includes puddles, swimming pools, and bathtubs (all only if there is no light. I do not fear them if they are lit...that would be ridiculous). And muddy lakes. And deep ocean, where you can see your feet, but sharks swim really fast. As does the Kracken.

Hmmm, I do feel better after naming my fears. They may be irrational, but they are real. You know you have some too. C'mon. Share for the world.


Jenna said...

Creagar, just so you know, I would have loved to participate in your book list, but my schedule just simply wouldn't allow. BUT, since I have a pretty laid back Christmas break I'm going to participate! And then we can discuss... over a beer.

And at this current moment in time I am still contemplating my irrational fears. I shall participate in that trend as well in the very near future.

Sara said...


Don't try to tell me they are adorable. All I see are persnickety four-legged creatures that slink about biding their time with their beady little eyes before pouncing on unsuspecting victims and digging their claws into innocent flesh.

Oh wait--you said IRrational. My bad.

Hey remember when I sent you a pooping Santa Claus? hahahaha. I'm so mature.

Sam said...

I have an irrational fear that my brother will gain access to my facebook wall! :)


Hey...wait a minute...isn't that the word that one guy makes from "Hot Fuzz" when he agrees with people?

sar.yoc said...

Well, dark water freaks me out but more than that. People emerging from pool drains, indoor pools and pool drains in general. There's an episode of 'Are you Afraid of the Dark' where a ghost monster things comes out of the pool drains and kills teenagers.

Closed shower curtains freak me out as well.

luke said...

i will be taking part in your book list, but rather more likely the one's we talked about rather than the one's you wrote. it may take me awhile to read it, as i'm reading way too much right now--but i'll get there.

my irrational fear: driving over bridges. ever since i saw the movie "ghost dad" when i was a kid, and the crazy cab driver drove over the edge of the bridge with bill cosby in the back i have been terrified of that happening. whenever i am driving and a bridge comes up i tense up. it's worse if i'm not driving if i'm paying attention. i've gotten better but i still blame bill cosby.


Liz.EJ.Lizzard.Elizabeth. said...

excuse me for laughing at your expense :o]

Jenna said...

Do you have this book that you recommend to me? If so, will you let me borrow it? I'll read it over break...